Memories/Dreams

I keep having this thing called memories

And then I have dreams

And sometimes

I don't know how to distinguish the two.

I had a friend

I miss them

They promised not to be a ghost in college

And now I'm just left wishing I'd held that hug

A little bit longer.

I haven't thought of her in months

I broke things off, moved on

So why is she suddenly in my dreams

When I desperately need her to leave.

I can't help but think I've got some purpose

Some reason to "repent"

Because why would this all be hitting me right now

If it was just my imagination.

I feel like I'm drowning in my past sometimes

And I just want the good back

I want the friends and the happiness

The hope I used to have.

I don't want to keep living on sheer spite

I don't want to live in fear of slowing down

I can't handle spending the rest of my high school career

Just scraping to get by.

I'm running on empty

Even though my head is so, so full

But it won't stop

It won't stop.