.the mind is a beautiful thing.

  I went to a funeral today The body was fresh and smelled like fire The casket was closed but I knew who it was There was no name, no photo and the room itself was cold There were no visitors except for my heart my soul and my brain My brain walked out at the scent of smoke My heart left you flowers and a life of well-wishes and my soul crawled in your casket and curled around yours.

      Today, I'm officially entering a new chapter in my life. College! Right off the bat, here's one thing to absolutely remember-- if you're going to college anywhere more southern or northern than your hometown, pack clothes intelligently. I've been here for four days and I'm already regretting not investing in more sweaters and underlayers. (And yet, somehow, there are students walking in shorts and t-shirts- in fifty-degree weather!) Despite the frigid weather (hyperbole), I have actually managed to do some general learning and sightseeing.      My largest folly, as per usual, has been socialising. I am awful at talking to people in a public setting, and it's incredibly difficult to make friends when you actually have no-one else. Well, there are a few kids that graduated with me, but none that I've ever been friends with. Gratefully, they all just seem to blend into the background with the rest of the kids I don't know. It's an odd experience, ...

 Let’s talk about something that I don’t see expressed enough. As Pride Month ends, it’s important to remember that queer people are visible throughout the whole year, not just in June. Single, taken, closeted, out, or undecided, queer people are still valid and seen during all twelve months of the year. Along with that, however, comes a personal struggle of mine. Perhaps you’ve felt this way as well, or maybe not, but it’s important to open your eyes to how some may feel. Whether it affects you or not, it’s always good to be aware of how others struggle.  One thing I find difficult to work through in my own life is being a Bisexual woman while in a relationship with a man. I’ve had an illustrious dating life, as I’m sure some of you may know (if you know me in real life), and that has included men, women, and everything in between. Nothing had ever stuck around quite long enough to solidify this feeling. However, something that feels harder this time, besides being 100% commi...

Terrified Waiting Listening Wiping away my tears As I hear footsteps Praying it isn't you I remember being little Not old enough to count to twenty And being terrified Not knowing whether it was mommy or sissy Coming up the stairs Now there's only one And I'm a little girl again I'm scared I don't want to hurt again

You're shaking You're trembling Stop it Stop it Stop it You're fine Get up Get the fuck over it Get up Get up Get up You're fine You deserve this You deserve this You deserve this You knew better You're bracing yourself You're not safe anymore You're waiting Waiting Waiting It's coming You just don't know when And you're terrified

You're not allowed to cry You can't be scared You brought this on yourself This is all your fault You should have kept your head down You should have been nicer You should have known You should be better You should be good You know how to be good You know better It's not anything new Get over it You shouldn't have assumed you were safe You should have known You should have known You've been here before You're scared You're scared You're scared You have no one to blame Besides yourself