12:03 PM

Stale coffee burns my throat

My legs are shaking

But I can't

I can't

I can't

I can't

Rumbles make my stomach feel funny

I haven't eaten in two days

I can't exist if everything is a sin

My calls go unanswered

A friend

They're sitting with someone else

Stinging stinging eyes

I did my makeup this morning

Whispers

Eyes

Glaring

Laughing

The lunchroom is too crowded

I need to get out

Out

Out

Out

Walking makes me feel sick

I'm wearing a new mask today

The hallways are much quieter

My music makes up for it

It shouts

But it's comforting

I hate it when people yell at me

I have a headache

My eyelids try to close

I'm not allowed to

I've got a show tonight

Coordination isn't something I'm versed in

Someone runs past me

Pushes

My bag stops me from slamming into the locker

I brought them a skirt

Another friend

Will they like it

Or will I seem weird

I can't freak out

Not yet

Not yet

Not yet

Not yet

It rumbles again

My whole body feels it

I'm shivering

It's cold

I'm wearing a skirt

I wanted to look pretty

It's not all black

I'm regretting everything

Someone walks past

The breeze makes me stop

My hands are shaking

I can hardly type

Oh god the tears are coming back

My phone vibrates

Once

Twice

Over and over

Eight messages

I ignore them all

I don't have the umph today

Talking sounds hard

Not as hard as the reminder of my stomach

Rocking 

Back and forth

Back and forth

Back and forth

I'm ruining my shoes

I can't let them be ruined

They were too expensive

He already thinks I'm a burden

I can't help but be terrified

I need someone to hold

Just a hug

A hand

A poke

Something to ground me

Tell me I'm not floating

Tell me

Tell me

Please

Please tell me

Am I not good enough?

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